Enemy of Miss Swan

• 21 May 2010 at 14:48
• Enemy of Beauty, Music, cinema, TV, books...

Yesterday, I saw the worst reality TV show ever. It's called Miss Swan, it's about choosing women with a physical complex and turn them into beauty queens.

So they choose the most lost women, who are not even ugly, lock them up in a castle and deprive them of mirrors and food. For 3 months, they are on a diet, see a psychotherapist (who must have sold her soul to the devil to take part of this show) and, worst of all, make them go through A LOT of cosmetic surgery. I don't know why but they all needed a rhinoplasty, inflating their upper lip, a lifting (even if they're 30!) and liposuccion (what's the diet for then?!).

Image credits: Fox

As three months of extreme makeover end up boring the spectators, the production team found some tricks to add some drama, even if they have to torture the candidates. So, you see the presenter, who looks like a caricature, going after the most obese candidate and make her see that she doesn't get into her fancy black dress and that if she doesn't want to look like a fatty, she'd better make some efforts with food, blah blah blah... For the other one, we get shocking revelations: "My husband cheated on me and that's why I think I'm ugly!!" The most horrible thing is that these poor women went through heavy surgery and start crying although they can hardly move their face muscles because of the bandages of the lifting and the rhino... It's nearly cynical.

Image credits: Fox

At the end of the show, all the beauty experts meet in the main room (they all look like Ken and Barbie, most of them went through cosmetic surgery as well) and congratulate themselves about the work they've done on each candidate: "Oh yeah, she really needed that nose job!" Then, they let the woman they're talking about come in and so we see the result of the transformation... Suspense!

That was so horrible, she looked like the very stereotype of the american dumbass. (I have nothing against Americans, just dumbass.)

Image credits: Fox

The women were then, one after the other, placed in front of a mirror, a thing they had not seen for 3 months, and they started crying and stuff. The experts surrounded them to congratualte them and accept them into what looked like the kingdom of beautiful people, or some sort of superior caste. The dumbass presenter dared ask a candidate: "Don't you think that, now, the outside honours the inside?"

Every candidate said she now felt much better about herself, blah blah blah... giving credit to the idea that cosmetic surgery can fix every problem. The shrink siad though that her work helped the girls accepting themselves as they were. Shame they are not "as they were" anymore!

And then, they made the candidates compete against each other and chose the best, the most beautiful. It was a terrible slap in the face for the loser: you've been given shit for 3 months, but you're still uglier than somebody else! Bam!

Image credits: Fox

Now I will let you meditate this quote of Margaret Cho:

I get really upset when I see young women getting liposuccion and breast implants. How is it that any different than foot binding? How is it? I don't know, plastic surgery is supposed to do something for your spirit, to make you feel good about yourself, but to me it's just brainwashing, manipulation and mutilation of women! I'm still gonna get it, but I...!

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