I have told the whole story regarding my last rendez-vous with Mr Really BIG.
After we had fun in bed, I launched the procedure to take him. I was at an advanced stage in th process, I had passed all the steps, until the triumphant condom slipping and everything was ready. I had already taken a guy and it had gone very well. But at the moment to enter the subject, everything fell flat.
I think it may explain his little elegant behaviour after that...
Nevertheless, I wondered a lot of things about my sexuality...
- I read that gays all ended up being versatile at some point. I thought "at some point" meant the moment when they grow in a relationship. As crazy as it may sound, I imagined being versatile was being able to be in a couple. And that's why I wanted to take him, without really wanting to take him in the end. Yeah, I really need to find myself a boyfriend, like, now.
- Then, there's something else. If I always accepted myself as a bottom, knowing that every gay man ended up versatile gave me a complex: the complex of being bottom. Yeah, as a bottom, you're reduced to one of the French's favourite swearword, enculé, which means "fucked in the ass" or "buggered". The eternal sodomised like Philippe Boisnard said in Pancake... Ridiculous.
- But the most disturbing, was that when I deflated, I had the feeing I was importent. Impotent on a sexual respect as well as on an everyday life respect. My behaviour towards others is very passive. Suddenly, all these little complexes came back to me all at once, and sent me back to my seat. The slap.
Like what, it's true, sex is life.
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Comments
you'll never know what I think :(
Tous les homos ne finissent pas passifs, et être en couple, ce n'est pas être versatile; dans mon expérience, ma sexualité s'adapte à la personne que j'aime, puisque mon plaisir passe (aussi) par le sien. Et même quand je suis épuisé, il y a toujours, toujours de l'envie et de l'énergie pour lui.. même très épuisé !!
Et puis, Julien passif .. what else ? :-)
(moi ancien passif exclusif complètement passé de l'autre côté, mais je ne pense pas que ce soit irréversible)
(lui ancien actif exclusif devenu plus "versatile" qu'il n'y parait)
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