I was already completely obsessed with him. I was seeing us, both of us, together, at home, at his place. I was imagining us in a quotidian routine. I was projecting us in the future or in imaginary lands. Safari Beach, Safari Beach, Safari Beach.
He had warned me. He had clearly told me that we were not a couple. But, 1, I had already stumbled into the irrational. 2, I thought it was simply the english concept of the boyfriend. 3, we were contacting each other a lot. And 4, he wrote in a text message something I had never been told before and that touched me:
miss you naughty
That time, I was at his place, and at the time to go, I perceived a change of behaviour in him. I wondered whether I had done something wrong. Did he take my cynical humour the wrong way? Did the new desires he was causing in me and I was eager to explore (see the Theory of Sexual Relativity) frustrate him? Did I, in a moment of inattention, put my teeth???
He had told me he would call the day after. I waited all day long but nothing, even not a message. The day after, I scrutinised his web pages just like a real stalker, and I saw... (suspens) that the day before... (super suspens!) instead of contacting me... (big fat crazy suspens!) he had had a rather hot conversation with another guy on the net. It was like a big slap in the face.
miss you naughty
Yeah, right. Do words have a different meaning if you think them in english or in french? Maybe he had really thought these words. Maybe his feelings had already changed so fast. Or maybe these words didn't have the same meaning for him and for me. The worst thing was that he probably knew I could access these pages. A sequency of questions repeating in an obsessional way in a spiral without sense.
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Comments
(Je dois d'ailleurs préciser, en tant qu'hypotètique futur lecteur assidu, Gaganymède se trouve dans mes onglets en période d'essai alors tu as intérêt à assurer =) Et tant que je suis dans une parenthèse, j'ai cliqué sur Safari Beach et mes yeux se plaignent maintenant du fond d'écran quasi fluorescent, une solution?)
Bon et puis, pour ce qui est de ton histoire, il faut croire que les gays sont comme les autres, ni plus ni moins.
Et puis "miss you naughty" on peut faire mieux tout de même, tu perds pas grand chose, rassure toi.
Pour ce qui est du fond d'écran, tu as un petit module sur la droite qui te permet de le changer.
Pour le "miss you naughty", je focalise là-dessus dans mon billet parce que c'est un exemple concret, un symbole.
Maintenant, qu'entends-tu par "les gays sont comme les autres"?
Les gays restent des hommes dont la testostérone débauche et ridiculise. Bon le jugement est facile, disons plutôt que je n'adhère pas à ce genre de comportements.
"il avait eu une conversation plutôt chaude avec un autre mec sur le net."
Une chose est sûre, tu n'as pas raté grand chose.
Pour le fond d'écran: Thames:) (Enfin je crois)
PS: oui, c'est Gros Ben.
D'ailleurs j'aime beaucoup "Une séquence de questions absurdes qui se répètent de façon obsessionnelle dans une spirale qui n'a pas de sens."
Même le comportement de ton (faux) boyfriend n'est pas pathétique, il est juste normal et triste (d'ailleurs on est tous passé par là, à priori, ça se saurait si on était capable de rester sage toute sa vie).
A suivre... :)
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