Blog

Version françaiseMy Blog RSS Feed
Category "Gossip"

The Claude François mystery

More than thirty years after his death, French singing legend Claude François' disappearance is still a mystery. The official version claims he electrocuted himself by repairing a bulb while taking a bath, but there's still doubt, as some think this explanation is too stupid. Thus, La Mauvaise Langue claimed:

Indeed, Claude François wasn't openly GAY which explains the lack of understanding from some people. However, it's also been said that late Claude Français, R.I.P., had been wildly receiving anal sex from a Senegalese, which would have cause inner bleeding then death. Which raises some doubts regarding the deceased's very intelligence. Was he stupid enough to change a light bulb naked in his bath...

To what I replied:

I heard he had electrocuted himself with a vibrator. But I have always wondered: in those days, did you have to plug vibrators?! Because it's not really practical, or you need one, or even several extensions. But it's still not very credible, you're not gonna put on a 5000V dildo and then dive into your bathtub... unless you're trying to make a statement to posterity. Claude François's death is even stronger than thse Da Vinci Code.

I searched Internet quickly but I have only found teenagers claiming that their teachers supported the vibrator theory to them. Like what, we really need to reform the Education Nationale in France, if teachers don't even respect the official version! I also found the hypothesis of the one-litre glass bottle which would have exploded Cloclo's arse (after this one, I guess, inserted it in himself, or let someone else insert it, or even unfortunately fell on it), causing internal bleeding, which meets La Mauvaise Langue's idea.

Some other people claim he's not even dead, that he left for a desert island with Elvis, Marylin and huge champagne boxes...

But the best one is Maxim's, from Agoravox, who claims Cloclo was a secret agent whose songs contained hidden messages (thinking of it, singing "If I had a hammer", in the middle of the Cold War, was it some kind of praise to the communist regime?!) and was killed by one of his dancers (the "clodettes"), who was also a secret agent and knew that the light bulb in the bathroom was bugged and linked to secret services in South Balouchistan! She would then have modified the small machine in order that it electrocutes the French 70ies' idol. Really, congratulations to Maxim, I would never have thought of it, and this is probably the most credible theory.

Jade Goody's tragedy

Jade Goody is a young woman who became famous when she entered the Big Brother house, and the British were always taking the piss at here, because of her coarseness and her stupidity. She came back on the national stage two years ago, by taking part of the "celebrity" edition of the show who made her famous, and by making racist remarks towards an indian competitor. (Her words had sparked furious reactions from Indians, and it was bad timing for Gordon Brown who was officially visiting the country as Chancellor at the time...) In a nutshell, Goody was the star that the British loved to hate.

But things took a tragic turn. To redeem herself, Goody took part of the indian Big Brother last summer. She had even been introduced into the house by her former competitor herself and had insisted that her jibes were "part of the past" and that she wasn't "proud of it". Ironically, this is where she was told she had cervical cancer. Lately, she learnt she had reached the terminal phase and that she only had a few months, maybe only weeks left to live. These revelations shocked the UK, all the more as she's the mother of two young boys.

Since then, Goody does a lot of interviews and photos. Her admitted goal is to make a lot of money to secure her sons' future. Nevertheless, there is something perverted in this behaviour: if she is aware of it and plays the game, the tabloids still make money out of this tragedy.

Many people showed support for her. Like Mohammad Al-Fayed who gave her a haute couture dress for her fast wedding to her boyfriend last weekend. Gordon Brown himself, even though he was in deep shit because of her two years ago, reacted by mentioning the particularity of the media coverage of this story and by insisting on the fact that her approach had to be applauded.

However, of course, reactions are different on this story and some feel free to make fun of it, like this guy I met at a party, or this website who will give an iPhone to who will guess the exact date of her death. But who is coarser when you make fun of someone dying? Jade Goody probably did not deserve her kind of success, but she cerainly didn't deserve neither to lose her life so young, nor the chance of seeing her children grow up. The lact of humanity some show towards her disgusts me more than her vulgarity.

This story is ironic from the beginning to the end. If Jade Goody had not been such a controversial character, her celebrity would have been very short and she would never have got so much support and been able to live this dream wedding. If Jade Goody did not have this terrible disease, she would have disappeared forgotten. Her "last fight" to secure her sons' future is but doing what she could do best: generate gossip and play the medias' game.

Guy Ritchie, Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law on a boys night out...

  • 25 October 2008 at 14:07
  • Gossip
Jude Law, Robert Downey Jr. and Guy Ritchie

Image credits: Xposure

I don't know for you but I had some quite naughty thoughts when I saw the pictures of these three guys on a night out...

Rock bottom

Poster of the 'Celebrity Rehab' show

A new show has arrived on the English cable. I think it's an American show.

Reality TV showing ordinary people in their daily lives quickly bored watchers So they put celebrities in their daily lives in front of the cameras. Watchers got bored as well. Watchers don't care about the daily life of people. Watchers want drama, blowing fuses and tears. So they created "Celebrity Rehab". It is about celebrities who were rich and beautiful who became alcoholics and ugly and who now want to be clean by going to rehab. But of course, rehab is no cup of tea and the teaser promises suffering, decline and humiliation.

"Hitting rock bottom", like the poster says.

Oh-my-Sex-and-the-City-in-London!

The premiere of Sex and the City The Movie occured yesterday in London!

And I missed that!

Update:

Catfight!

  • 25 October 2007 at 15:51
  • Gossip

British newspapers are really into trash press. First pages are often about the latest gossip, like "Victoria Beckham has a spot!". It's kind of a sorry deal. Except that last Monday, in thelondonpaper, there was heavy stuff: a catfight between latest Big Brother's bitch (she was really annoying) and a random girl in a nightclub! We don't really know what happened, apparently, a smokers group that was outside the club (the harsh reality of the smoking ban) started mocking her and then it went tits up. Fortunately, THERE ARE PICTURES!

Unexpectedly, she said that she wouldn't go to the police, which makes me glad in this world where everything "gets judiciary" and where touching your colleague's shoulder can put you in jail for sexual harrassment.

Alien Dion

  • 22 October 2007 at 16:42
  • Gossip

Taking Chances is Celine Dion's latest album. Well, the least you can say is that she's REALLY taking chances with such an ugly cover, especially with her alien-like face. By the way, Rene should send her back to the cosmetic surgeon because now, it's over! I mean, 15 year-old operations are not enough anymore!

Cécilia the rebel!

My parents voted for Sarko at the presidential elections. I talked about Cécilia Sarkozy with my mother and she said: "Oh you know, la Cécilia, she's a bit of a whore." and I kept on going: "Do you reckon?" and then she said: "What do you think? I mean, bedding Jacques Martin, you need some willpower!". Ah, I adore my mother.

The Cécilia mystery. She will not have been very long the First Lady of France. That's a shame. I must admit I was very curious about what kind of first lady she would be, especially after her stunt in Libya and her failure to appear at George W. Bush's invitation. Could have she been the presidential envoy just like in Libya? Could have she called for Americans to vote for Hillary Clinton? Somehow, I understand her desire of being free, given how much the First Lady must be submitted to international conventions. With her unpredictable side, she could have caused, unwillingly, diplomatic incidents. It would have been funny, a rebel first lady. Well, no, she preferred to walk away.

Britney: the show of decadence?

  • 02 October 2007 at 12:11
  • Gossip

We all laughed at Britney Spears. It was funny to mock this youngster. When she announced her divorce, we were all happy for her. When the picture of her vagina got everywhere on Internet, we all watched. When she shaved her head, we all started getting worried. When she danced at the MTV Video Awards, we all found it pathetic and started understanding how cruel this game was... (Well, it's a very personal "we"!)

But now, the situation has completely degenerated. A series of bad events is happening to Britney, and she only seems to want to make things worse. First of all, her agent and her lawyer gave up on her because her behaviour wouldn't allow them to work with her. Then, she commited several infractions such as driving without a valid license or scratching a car without leaving a message for an arrangement or anything. Lately, a judge declared she was a drug user and gave her a series of orders to follow to keep the custody of her children, but she didn't respect any of these instructions and yesterday, the judge ordered to cancel Britney's parenting rights and to give full custody of the children to her ex-husband.

But even worse, it seems she doesn't give a fuck! Instead of reacting or locking herself up in her room to cry, she drove her kids directly to her ex, and then, she went tanning and had dinner with friends, a bit everywhere, just like nothing happened!

She's gone completely out of control and the show we're attending, that she's playing without shame, that the paparazzi cover every bit of, is really sad.

Gay death threats!

Poor Mikrap... London Lite wrote on top of a page "Gay death threats" and said in an article that the singer would have received death threats from gay fans, who would have something against him because he won't say his sexual orientation. You have to be crazy to send threats for such a thing. Anyway, I don't think they'll be executed.

And you know, I understand the fans... I mean, the whole promotion of Mika's album was about his homosexuality. The first single has the name of gay icon actress Grace Kelly and he says inside that he can be all the colours of the rainbow, symbol of the LGBT cause. Then, the poor fans must have bought the album. And then, they realized it was a big piece of crap. They were disappointed. So when this motherfucker refused to say whether he is gay or not, I understand they have been disgusted.

Copyright Jujupiter
Tools CakePHP MooTools Silk Icons
W3C XHTML 1.0 CSS 2.0 WAI
Previous picture Next picture