Category "Enemy of Beauty"

Playboy

Hold on, a 40-year-old chick, who had three children, on Playboy's cover? She got photoshopped for sure.

Marge Simpson for the cover of Playboy

Image credits: Matt Groening? Playboy?

Manifesto of the Enemy of Beauty

Have you heard about the project of law that French MP Valérie Boyer submitted? Write "digitally modified picture" on adverts that show women with impossible bodies? I'm totally for it! Some rightly say that this law would only attack the tip of the iceberg, and that we should do affirmative action towards obese women. Again, I totally favour it! But I think we should go even further. So I'm making 5 propositions that will make up the Manifesto of the Enemy of Beauty!

  • First of all, we have to stop thinking this problem only affects women! It also regards the gays! As well as men who want their women to look like those in porn movies! In that respect, I suggest we simply cast ugly people in porn movies. Girls covered with cellulite, men with a beer belly, and so on. Honestly, it's not because you're thin that you can give good head!
  • We have to ban modeling. Honestly, these people who make money out of their good looks, it's just unbearable!
  • Establish a Bridget Jones Day.
  • Put Keira Knightley, Paris Hilton and others on a junk food diet. (Enjoy yourselves girls!!!)
  • Ban any image associated with music, including music videos. Music must be listened to for the quality of the artists, not the looks of its 18-years old bleached singer overloaded with makeup.

Yes, thanks to this Manifesto, I believe we can change the world!!!

Glamour crash

Now, to find love, you need to cause car crashes!

Let me explain...

This morning, I saw this video, Talk you down, by The Script, at the gym.

If you can't see the video, basically, it's a little rock music guy, apparently things are not going well at all with his girlfriend, and then suddenly, bam, car crash, each of them goes through the windshield of their own car... and here they are reunited! So it's kind of a... happy end? I don't know. What's stunning about this video is how incredibly beautiful they look despite the shock. Normally, when you go through a windshield, your face is wrecked and covered with blood. Well, no, popstars, these superhuman idols, remain perfect.

However, this reminds me a lot of this video Spoiled by Joss Stone:

It appears you do not have the necessary software to view this item. You can download for free the Adobe Flash plug-in here.

The credits of that video must be on the website hosting it.

Same thing, she and her guy are each in a car and they hit each other. They go through the windshield and look even more beautiful than models in L'Oréal ads. But the ending is different because it looks like they survive, thanks to some supernatural phenomenon. I guess the director and Joss Stone would explain that this is THANKS TO THE POWER OF LOVE.

Maybe teenage girls watching these videos will think that, in the end, anorexia is so yesterday, that you should now be in a car crash to find love.

Anyway, this is not great propaganda for security belts.

At least, Coldplay, in their video of The Scientist, which also stages a slow motion car crash, showed that the girl dying was an idiot because you could see the moment when she took off her security belt:

It appears you do not have the necessary software to view this item. You can download for free the Adobe Flash plug-in here.

The credits of that video must be on the website hosting it.

But hey, don't think that every video more or less recent on the subject are always that melodramatic. In a completely different tone, Madonna, in a video directed by her then husband Guy Ritchie, played a crazy, furious, suicidal woman who would destroy everything on her path, until she drives straight into a post at full speed.

It appears you do not have the necessary software to view this item. You can download for free the Adobe Flash plug-in here.

The credits of that video must be on the website hosting it.

Like what, you see girls, car crashes won't bring you love!

Enemy of Rupert Everett

I like Rupert Everett. Yeah, just because he's gay and I got to watch his films when I was a teenager and I was wondering a lot about homosexuality. No, I'm not talking about rubbish movies like My Best Friend's Wedding, but rather about Another Country for example. I bought his autobiography (signed but in promotion!) and I fell asleep at the tenth page. Anyway.

I'm disappointed because I learnt through Go Fug Yourself that he had cosmetic surgery. Yeah I know, everybody does what they want with their faces but especially when you're gay, I think you always have to stick to the ideal of the handsome, strong and young man and it's annoying. Anyway.

So, photo of Rupert before:

Rupert Everett (before surgery)

Image credits: Wenn

Oh yeah, evil-looking, sexily greying hair, and stuff. Now, photo of Rupert after:

Rupert Everett (after surgery)

Image credits: Wenn

OH MY GOD! What have they done to him??? He doesn't even look like the same person! Rupert, Mickey Rourke's example should have warned you not to go this way!!

Enemy of Annie Leibovitz

Michelle Obama on Vogue's front page

Image credits: Annie Leibovitz for Vogue

No, no, no, no, no, no, NO.

I have nothing against Michelle Obama. But this cover, eww! First of all, because I hate Vogue and then because Annie Leibovitz, the famous "celebrities photographer" just made a terrible job on that one. I read arse-licking newspapers praising that cover, but honestly, the First Lady has a terrible face on that picture. And a weird posture.

TOO MUCH PHOTOSHOP, ANNIE!

That, or Leibovitz voted for McCain.

I dream of the day when we'll see a First Lady without makeup, with hairs under her armpits and a humanitarian past...

Update: I changed the title because I have nothing against Michelle Obama, more against the photographer.

Enemy of Photoshop

In the London Tube...

Poster for "Revolutionary Road" with a sticker

Image credits: Unknown

Enemy of Madonna

She really does everything she can to make me hate her even more.

Madonna for Louis Vuitton

Image credits: Steven Meisel for Louis Vuitton

But hey, I shouldn't surprised to see Madonna advertising for Louis Vuitton...

Halloween Weekend (Part 4/5)
Enemy of Britney Spears

On Sunday, I saw the cover of Britney Spears' new album.

Britney Spears' new album, "Circus"

Image credits: Kate Turning / Jive Records

First I thought it was some kind of joke for Halloween. I mean, her face looks asymetrical, not as asymetrical as mine though! Plus, it's supposed to be the album of her comeback. And it looks so... boring. As if she was to keep singing the same crap. Well, it is really the cover of her new album. And there yet other people who can't master Photoshop are promoted!

Enemy of Louis Vuitton

What is so special about these Louis Vuitton bags?

Honestly?

It's good quality, I agree, but I'm sure there are bags of same quality and cheaper. I guess one could say it looks nice as well, however one cannot say this brownish pattern is particularly original.

To my eyes, the only reason why someone would buy Vuitton stuff is snobbery. I don't know if the Vuitton buyer thinks: "I'm gonna show I'm a person of taste" or "I'm gonna show I can afford luxury accessories". But hey, after all, if they want to spend shitloads of money for a bag in order to show off, it's not my problem.

But it turns ironic when LVMH, the company owning Louis Vuitton, considers itself as the victim of its own success. Well yeah, now, something unacceptable to the brand, all the rubbish people want to have a brownish Vuitton bag!

Tara Reid, Louis Vuitton bag

Image credits: WireImage

Here, one of the actresses starring in the student comedy American Pie, Tara Reid.

Lindsay Lohan, Louis Vuitton bag

Image credits: WireImage

The young actress Lindsay Lohan who recently made the headlines for going to jail and more recently for turning gay.

Jessica Simpson, Louis Vuitton bag

Image credits: FilmMagic

The actress-singer Jessica Simpson whose career is in freefall and who recently tried to make a comeback by singing country music.

When seeing its image of luxury product destroyed by these cheap girls, Vuitton struck back by suing all the music videos featuring their bags (such as Britney Spears' for example) Yeah, looks like, for the brand, luxury must absolutely not look affordable to those who are not part of the elite!

Anyway, that is not that bad. The worst is when LVMH sues a Darfur organisation.

I have to be careful when using these pictures, I could be sued too... But by FilmMagic and WireImage.

Enemy of Vogue India

I found an article looking like Le Monde's article source!
Vogue India: "Poor and Chic" in Fendi

Image credits: Vogue India

An old woman missing her upper front teeth holds a child in rumpled clothes ? who is wearing a Fendi bib (retail price, about $100).

[...]

The editorial spread was "not just tacky but downright distasteful" said Kanika Gahlaut, a columnist for the daily newspaper Mail Today that is based here, who denounced it as an "example of vulgarity."

There's nothing "fun or funny" about putting a poor person in a mud hut in clothing designed by Alexander McQueen, she said in a telephone interview. "There are farmer suicides here, for God's sake" she said, referring to thousands of Indian farmers who have killed themselves in the last decade because of debt.

Vogue India editor Priya Tanna's message to critics of the August shoot: "Lighten up," she said in a telephone interview. Vogue is about realizing the "power of fashion" she said, and the shoot was saying that "fashion is no longer a rich man's privilege. Anyone can carry it off and make it look beautiful," she said.

Vogue's Fashion Photos Spark Debate in India [Heather Timmons for The New York Times]

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